I feel suck if

when I feel suck it's so damn -__- damndamndamn, shitshitshitshit, and so I hate to feel suck
I feel suck = #ifs
#ifs if i have a moody day
#ifs if what i want not has followed
#ifs if in hot day, my mother come late
#ifs if my friend fuss
#ifs if my friend arrogant
#ifs if my mother was dizzy
#ifs if my wish was not granted
#ifs if I enmity with friends
#ifs if i have a lot of debt 
#ifs if my pulse runs out
#ifs if I met the same strange man  
#ifs if  I known as a false friend
#ifs if my money is lost
#ifs if  I always blame my mother
#ifs if  My mother now turned away derastis from his first
#ifs if I was always guilty in the eyes of the mother

yeaaahhhh,I make this entri because today I feel SUCK. I  always tried to be the best for her. I tried to respect you. I was trying to protect you wherever and whenever.I tried to let you know whenever and wherever I want to go. I try to keep your family well. I tried to follow the rules of your game. I try to always love you. I am trying to gather reasons to say thank you to you.I've tried not to bother you. I try not to always make you tired. I tried to membatumu. I tried to restore all the facilities you've been given.I'm resigned now, whatever you give me. please, maybe I was wrong. but I'll try to be the best for you. I will pray for you I hope you stay healthy always. membatumu and I'll protect you.